Black Friday Fairy Tales – The Case is On!

It turned out that the lawyer was actually the neighbor from the next-door. Seymour was striding through the masked kids feeling like his heart was going to pierce its way outside of his chests. His breaths were shortened. Between the word “Trick” and the word “Treat” he would inhale and exhale several times. As for the legs, they were walking for themselves, dodging all those little feet that carried candy hungry children. “What if this was a prank?”, a question stubbed the excitement.

It would not be the first time children would team up to make him miserable. Only this year, little devils covered his house with toilet paper more than ten times. Say nothing of piercing tires. His car was still standing in the dark of his garage. And then there were the mail swaps. Instead of bills for electricity, he would find torn pieces of paper advertising all kinds of massages. And sometimes, while walking over his yard, instead of the newspaper, he would stumble upon a playboy magazine. He didn’t mind about that but his mother did. She would take the magazine, start waving it above her head and shout: “Go on! Just you laugh and make fun of my boy! But one day, my Seymour will marry a girl more pretty than all these.”

Seymour stopped and ran with his glance over kids. There was no trace of the black leprechaun. But then, as he was rewinding his memories, Seymour realized that no man, besides the lawyers he visited, knew about his plans. And it was not likely that they decided to make a prank on him. In addition to that, he remembered that on a few occasions his mother mentioned that their neighbor is a lawyer she could hire to sue the husband of her now-deceased younger sister. In the swirl of thoughts, he almost missed the neighbor’s house and went home. There were two scarecrows around the middle of the concrete path connecting pavement and three little steps below the house door. The lawn was covered with red and yellow leaves that turned into piles on few places. A group of kids just went out. They wore huge costumes of giants more than fifteen feet high. Seymour had waited for them to leave before he made the first step towards the entrance. He rang and knocked more than a few times. And again, just when he thought this was, after all, another prank, the door opened.

A blondie girl in a red hood few inches taller than a doorhandle appeared in front of him and said: “Greetings reputable conscious living entity. My name is Harmony and I wish you a good evening. Would you be so kind as to share the purpose of your presence on the doorsteps of this reputable legal office?”

“Of course. Good evening to you too. My name is Seymour. I received this visit-card that states this address to be the residence of a lawyer specialized in pressing charges against God.”

“Why yes of course. Come this way, please. But before you do enter I will have to ask you to put your shoes off and watch your step. Madam Sheldon lied down earlier this evening. She had a strong headache and now she is sleeping. It wouldn’t be convenient to wake her.”

“Madam Sheldon”, name echoed inside Seymour’s head while bending to put his small black leather shoes off. Was that the “little” redhaired oldy he used to meet from time to time while walking to school?

“This way. The office is in the basement”, said girl. They went down the tin wooden stairs and entered the vast room below the ground level. And there he was. The little leprechaun rascal that ran into Seymour was sitting at the large wooden table full of artistic curves and shapes. But reflection on the madam Sheldon made him realize that little boy was actually a guy. A fully grown man.

“Good evening. My name is Seymour. I am a history teacher from next door and I have come here to press charges against God.”

Leprechaun said: “Giants have just left. You might have seen them.”

“So those were the real Giants!”, Seymour exclaimed.

“Actually they were not. That’s why they are pressing charges.”

“I understand them completely!”

“And they will be my last clients. I fear I am full and cannot take any more of people that want to persue charges against God. You should seek help eleswhere.”

“But you have just given me this card.”

“That was my evil twin brother.”

“But.”

“No buts. I am closed. Harmony, show this gentelman way out.”

“I have pieces of evidence. Please look!”, Seymour shouted, pulled out the little red box out of his pocket and put it on the table. “Take a brief look! You won’t be able to deny it!”

“Alright”, Leprechaun said, took the box and opened it. The paint on his face turned into pale color. “How can this be… Are you sure?”

“It authentic! 100 precent authentic”, Seymour said.

“Please take a seat. Harmony, bring us coffee and lock all dors. We are not to be disturbed at any circumstances.”

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